Day 54
Share
It’s been a day. Nick didn’t arrive home until 2:30 ish this afternoon so it was just the kids and I for most of the day. They were both so unsettled. I swear one was crying at me at all times. Paddy was so whingy, everything I did he whined at. Literally he would ask me for something, I would do it and then he would whine. I was starting to feel really overwhelmed so I knew I had to get them out of the house but they were so full on that they wouldn’t even give me the space to get ready. Somehow hours later I got ready and I put them in to the pram and we went for a walk to see the turtles and play some cricket. It was good to get out but honestly they didn’t enjoy themselves at all. Both have snotty noses so I’m assuming they aren’t feeling great. I gave them Panadol when we got home which did seem to help. Both had really good sleeps so I was able to clean the house and then nap myself. I am exhausted with another tonsillitis flair up so I really needed a rest. Nick arrived home from his fishing trip. It was nice to see him. I told him I had some orders to pack and he questioned why I am working on a Sunday and I tried to explain that I have no choice because tomorrow I don’t have a work day but the orders need to get posted so I have to pack them today as I have the kids tomorrow and then I’m in surgery on Tuesday. He seems shocked when I work on weekends or late at night. I don’t know what to do. I’m encouraged to work and make money and even to save money. I have such a small amount of time kid free and in that time in need to work, do every single thing for everyone in this house and for this house and then try and stay on top of my self care and mental health. It’s fucking impossible! I feel really unseen and misunderstood sometimes here. I feel like I’m expected to do so much in such little time and it makes me really resentful.