Day 90
Share
Today was supposed to be a work day. After all the sickness I have so much to catch up on in terms of admin and filming content. I had everything booked in and planned, including someone booked in to do the filming but then my care for the kids fell through so I automatically went in to a panic. I really struggle with changing plans last minute, it’s one of those things that automatically heightens me. I called Nick and he said he could come home while I film for the time but then he has golf after. I was grateful that he can home to help so I could film the content with Tannie (she is an amazing content creator that helps me film and edit the reels) but then knowing he was going to golf made me feel really angry. I just feel like our setup is so unfair sometimes and I’ve been feeling like this for a while now. I have way too much of the responsibility here in terms of house, kids and finances and I’m constantly sick and burnt out. I just can’t do it anymore. I told him we needed to talk because I wasn’t coping and he agreed he would. I took the kids to the play Center to get them out of the house and that was a fail as Edi-Rae had been so unsettled all day so she wouldn’t let me put her down but then Paddy wanted me to help him too and I just couldn’t make them both happy. So we left and looked in TK maxx and they found toys they wanted, and I just gave in because I honestly was just done and didn’t have the energy for anymore fights that day. Nick got home when we did and the kids were happy to see him so I hid in my room for a bit to breath myself back to a calm state after Edi-Rae screamed all the way home in the car. I have no idea what is up with her but she is definitely so off.
1 comment
Yeah I hear you I feel like I have a lot on my plate more then hubby. And I run on constant burn out. Sometimes you gotta just get in your car and go out. Like just nipping to the shops hun but take longer and go sit in your car at the park or somewhere. I have done this and cried. We are in the middle of getting our son diagnosed with autism. I have meltdowns & breakdowns and I don’t have autism lol. It was a sad reality the autism. And he just doesn’t stop. But honestly Nick needs to share the load and step up more and he’s not. So that’s why you just go out. Your amazing and your doing better than I. My house is always messy I never have the energy you do at the end of the day to clean up. Your honestly incredible. X